Waterdaughter
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Waterdaughter
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2006 - 1/1/2006 - Last night Scott got out the 8 roman candles we had saved from the 4th of July and lit them off just before midnight, then we could see the New Year's fireworks being set off at Falls Park in Sioux Falls. Very low key evening, but still, Scott got to play with fireworks!! Hard as it is to believe, I really don't have anything to ramble about right now...
1/8/2006 - For the past two nights I've been able to sleep straight through! I've only got one more week until I go off Cytomel and plunge completely into Hypoland. I'm already starting to get anxious about the upcoming treatment dose and it is still more than 2 weeks away. It is no where near as bad as Chemotherapy or Radiation treatments (from what I've read and heard) and the actual Radioactive Iodine isn't this hard part for me. What is hard is sinking into this odd world where depression and mood swings are normal and happy laughter seems to become a distant memory. For the past week I've worked very hard to not let the depressed moods win, and for the most part have been successful. ... and then I stepped on the scale Friday morning and learned that I had gained 5 pounds in a weeks time. That's the hard part - I mean I was able to actually lose weight over Christmas only to have all that I lost come right back on. I suppose I could not eat anything other than veggies and fruits, but I seem to get really weak if I don't eat some protein every day. Scott was so sweet yesterday and actually suggested that I buy some shrimp while we were out shopping. I know he's very concerned about all the changes that my body has been going through and because I have the same fears and concerns I don't know how to help ease his worry. Short term plan, for me, is to make it through the next month staying as upbeat as possible and not alienating any friends in the process. love & hugs ya'll 1/13/2006
- Have you ever been so tired that you feel like your top eyelashes have
weights attached to them, making it increasingly difficult to keep them open
... and the only thought running through your mind is "sleep, sweet sleep" ...
which seems to come so easily whilst sitting in front of the computer, yet the
second your head hits the pillow your eyes pop open wide and your brain goes
into high gear?? 1/14/2006 - Today is the first day off all THR medication. I dug out my medical journal from back in July and found that my first day off all THR meds in July was also on the 14th ... exactly 6 months. One thing that I had forgotten about was the Low Iodine Diet - ish, no dairy, no table salt, no seafood, no eggs, no canned foods because of the salt content, no store bought bread ... and because I forgot, I have pretty much nothing that I can eat in the house. I remembered to write down some of my more favorite recipes the first go round and one of them is a whole wheat bread - the problem I had with it last time is that it is a very dense, dry bread and I can't use butter, or even a butter substitute like ICBINB spray - SIGH!!!!! I think I have some frozen fruit - maybe I'll go make a dairy free smoothie? Hmmm, what I really want it a baked potato smothered in sour cream - both of which are on the "no no" list for the next 2 1/2 weeks, until after my WBS on Feb 1. Just makes me want to cry. Scott is working today, his first manditory Saturday overtime, and it just happens to be the Seahawk's first play off game. From what I can tell, the game starts at 3:30 CST and Scott isn't supposed to get home until about 4:30, so it looks like I'm going to have to watch a football game this afternoon ....... wonder if I have any blank tapes left, that way I can just record the game and not have to worry about paying attention to it. Strange, because I enjoy watching football, but this year I have had very little desire to watch any sports. Not even hockey has captured my attention this year. Think I'm going to go sneak in a little nap before I try running the few errands that I have today. 1/17/2006 - Day 4 of both the no meds and low iodine diet ... both pretty much suck. I am tired pretty much all day, but around 3:30 in the afternoon I'm starving and become extremely irritable on top of everything else, and all I really want to do is take a nap!! I am SO glad that Mom & Dad sent several packages of venison back home with me, because that is pretty much my only source of protein right now (it's also good that I like venison otherwise I'd be up a creek so to speak). I'd like to write more, but sleep is calling me LOUDLY - so it must be
important Love & hugs 1/21/2006 - Today marks day 8 of hypoland and LID hell. After enduring the past week of working during the decent into hypoland, I have come to really appreciate being out on leave the first time. By the end of the day I am absolutely exhausted and it bites. I don't feel like doing anything after work except scrounge up something that I can eat that doesn't require much effort and then falling into a chair where I seem to spend the rest of the night until I decide it's time to crawl into bed. I sleep all night and am still tired when I wake up. It just all makes for really long days. Happily, it's half over, because I get to start taking my Synthroid again next Saturday!! I think this is the first time in my life I have ever been excited to be on medication. I want to feel "normal" again. I'm also more than a little concerned that this treatment dose will not work on the spot Dr. O found in my left lymph node. He said that the lymph nodes do not respond very well to the Radioactive Iodine, so I am trying very hard to strictly follow the LID to give the RAI the best chance to work that I can. If this doesn't work, I'll probably have to undergo surgery again. It doesn't scare me, but it isn't something that I am very anxious to go though again. Scott's birthday is just 4 days away ... since I'm going to be isolated ... well, if you think of it, maybe you could send him a birthday greeting? Love & hugs 1/30/2006 - So much to catch up on ... First off, I had my treatment dose this past Wednesday ... and was in isolation for 5 days instead of 3 (Scott and I decided that the Nuke Med doctor probably had a slightly better clue over the endocrinologists nurse). I really HATE isolation, almost as much as I hate knowing that I'm going to have to lay still for over 45 minutes in a coffin like tunnel with no escape come this Wednesday morning. Lemme think, what else ... hmmm, I'm still on the low iodine diet (until after my scan on Wednesday). I decided that I'm going to stop by the gas station on my way to the scan and buy a small bag of Cheetos as a gift to myself for being a brave girl and going into the coffin like tunnel without crying (the sleep mask that Mom gave me for Christmas should really help prevent the panic and subsequent tears)! I figure the Cheetos will go a long way in helping to make up for the no dairy & no salt part of the LID, so that's my plan! Scott celebrated his 29th birthday over several days. Wednesday morning, shortly after he left for work, I got up and baked him a real birthday cake and even frosted it :-) Because I was all radioactive, I wished him a happy birthday from across the kitchen before hiding myself away in the bedroom again... He got several cards from friends and family. One was from my grandma, and I know she knows him better than I thought because the card was a brown paper bag that had all kinds of suggestions as to what it could be used for - one of which was "blow this up and use it as a noise maker" so NATURALLY Scottie had to try that one! I think he tried 4 times before it finally popped, well, exploded is a touch more accurate! Since his birthday was in the middle of the week he decided to take Friday off to continue his celebration and took off for Sioux Falls around 10:30am, returning around 3:30pm, grinning ear to ear. I knew that he had an appointment with a local tattoo artist, so was not surprised when he looked at me, smiling, and said " I just had a pretty lady inflict pain on me for 2 hours!" There is still quite a bit left to fill in, but I took some shots of what she was able to get done in those 2 fun filled hours!
Sorry that the quality is not all that great. I'm hoping that the ones I took with my 35 mil SLR come out better ... it just takes me forever to get those pictures developed ... and he just told me " NO " when I told him how much the digital SLR is that I have my sights set on. But really, what is the point in buying something that you know is crap because you have to settle when you can save up for what you really want and know will be a quality product for years to come? ANYWAY, we both agree that my current digital camera is pretty much useless. Ok, that's about it for now ... I'm still not quite back to "normal" and am quite tired. Love & hugs! 1/31/2006 - It's something like 11:00 pm and about 30 minutes ago my dog, Jessie, had a seizure (I guess that's what it was). Both Scott and I were in bed and I heard something hit the floor and then lots of scratching noises. Thinking that the dogs had gotten the bag of cat food off the counter I shot out of bed set to start yelling at them when I saw Jessie on her side convulsing. I can only remember one other of my pets having a seizure - Shadow (one of the cats), but she seemed "normal" shortly after coming out of it. Jessie doesn't know us right now and we are both trapped in the basement with the other dog, Sadie. I called my vet's office right away and the on call doc said that it is normal after a seizure for the animal to be confused and disoriented for anywhere from hours to days after having a seizure. I pray that it is only hours because both Scott and I need sleep badly, especially Scott. I just have that whole body scan in the morning, but Scott has to be at work in something like 6 hours, so this is really hard on him. Right now Jessie won't stop barking when we are in the same room or if she can her our voices. Scott said that she's settled down into growling now... I am just beside myself because I feel so helpless. I've already decided that I am going to call my vet's office again first thing in the morning, early enough to allow myself time to drop Jessie off at the vet's office and still make it to the hospital by 7:45. It's now 12:00am. I had just finished typing the first paragraph of this ramble when Scott told me that he was going to try to get past Jessie... I think that was about 45 minutes ago. I had some cleaning up and moving around of various cat paraphernalia to move around and put away downstairs so it's safe for Sadie to sleep and nose around in the basement. Around 11:30 Scott yelled for me to come upstairs "slowly" and alone, so I did. Jessie wasn't barking or growling any more and recognized Scott, so he figured it was time to bring me up to test the waters... Jessie recognized me as well, which is good, but now she won't calm down. I have Sadie down here with me and I can here Jessie whining loudly upstairs. Sadie seems calmer away from Jessie right now, but Jessie is still confused upset. The vet said to keep them separated for a while, but I think she meant while Jessie was not herself. She seems ok now and I really need sleep ... and now Sadie is upset as well. I think I'm going to take Sadie back upstairs and try going to bed to see if they will both settle down and get some sleep. Tomorrow feature will most likely be a mix of me ranting about doctors and the whole body scan as well as more doggie news. (never a dull moment!) Love & hugs! |
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